Valentines Day

Another year another Valentines Day! I bloody hate this day, i'm not bothered that i'm alone and i didn't get a card or a present. But the left outness i feel, the feeling of pitying looks. the bloody chatter about it being valentines day alll bloody day long, its a commercialised day to make us feel bad and spend cash!!! 90% chances are even if i was with someone i still wouldn't have got a hearts and flowers.

today listening to people at work chatter made me feel really sad and lonely and felt like i couldn't join in and none of it was done to deliberately leave me out but grrrrrrr. it was so nice after everyone left at 4pm and me, Ian and Karen, could just get on with work and have a chat, when i was talking to them if felt like a totally other day, no Valentines talk, no serious talk, just generl chit chat and drunken night out chat, but if felt nice.

Tomorrow is my Day off and i feel it is well deserved, its been a bloody long week. I am dreading WI, i think last weeks miraculous loss is going to be over shadowed by a very large gain cloud!! but it is TOTM. came on just as i WI last sunday and feel really heavy.I haven't really gone over / under points but i just think that last week is gonna catch up on me!!!!

Pic 14/02/08 Home

earlier on tonight i watched a programme on BBCThree, where this 18yr old girl was addicted to sausages and she consummed 3 x the average persons salt in take for a year, 36ltrs of fat a year and sooo much charcole that it was in danger of giving her cancer.

it was really good, they tried to re-educate her palete, it was quite sad really as she had no idea of where food came from (ie nature! not ASDA!!!) she though processed sausaged looked more like proper meat that a pork chop.

she did really well in the end. i need that kind of thing. but i enjoy fruit and veg and the right sort of food, i think i'm addicted to bread and giving it up for Lent has been a fab idea. i've thought loads of times oooh i'l just have a slice and not done.

i admit that i have cheated twice and my excuses are below!

cheat 1: Tuesday i'd only had 12 points up to 9pm and needed to use some so i went into the kitchen and looked but we only had bread in!!! so i had 4 yes 4 slices of warbies granary loaf with a banana!!! the plan was to have 2 slices toasted but before the toast popped i'd devoured 2 slices dry!!!!

cheat 2: we got caught up in all the leftover traffic jams after that awful crash on the M61 ON Wednesday night coming home from work, so we detoured to burnen park asda and we were so hungry we bought WW butties!!!

BUT on a positive note i really wanted some bread tonight after i'd watched the addicts programme but instead i have strawberries and cherries!!! the ones in the photo!!!! :)