Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

well been a bit of an odd week for me really. can't quite put my finger on what it is. but think its juts things changing the fast aproaching st v's day.



i went to the cinema last night to see a curious incidence of benjamin button. and it brough it home to me just how single i am. i went with mt friend her OH, her sister and her sister OH. so 5 of us. not to akward as we all get on. get to the cinema girls que up boys go to buy drinks, steph has no boy = no drink. friend said nip out of the q and get one of the lads to get her a drink but. 2 boys = 4 hands 2 couples = 4 drinks how would they hold my drink. i said its fine, as i wasn't really that bothered any way, well i wasn't until i thought about it.



so we get tickets i que for a drink 2 sert of couples in front of me taking the piss taking up time being indecisive so i decide not to get a drink. its a long film but i reason i'll get an asile seat and bob out for one, no biggie neeeded a wee and the pre-views where still on.



we walk into the screen and its not that busy but lots of couples!!!! with gaps of a few seats between them. so we go to sit of the side of the cinema, but only 4 seats in the rows so A do i sit on my own what do i do!!! ok so once again i make it about me! but i don't wanna sit on my own and i don't wanna split the couples up. so friends sis and sis's oh sits in the side seats an my friends says sit on the other side of the stairs. i go to sit in the end seat but she makes me shive up 3 seats so she and her OH can sit with me, which was sweet, but i know her sis will prob pull her face but what the hell was she to do. A she leaves her friend who is there on her "own" or sit with her sis who has her OH with her. well i'm quite glad to say she picked me. but it made me think if i had some one then she could have sat with her sis me withy who ever and there wouldb't be any conflict of interest it just brought it home to me.



Then the fim. I really enjoyed it.



it was sweet, funny, sad, long, i cried on and off from the opening credits to the closing credits. Now admitidly its not everyones cup of tea. But i liked it.



But once again it did make me feel sorry for myself. i wanna talk about the film but its not fair just yet if people haven't seen the film yet.



in part of i Brad Pitt was looking the hottest i've seen him for a while. once you watch it u will see what i mean, and for those who likes the ladies the beautiful Cate Blanchet.



there has also been an odd atmosphere at work again today, but there has been really since before they announced the job losses and then today with the price cuts and new holiday booking system. i just hope things get back to normal, what ever normal is and i hope that JSM finds me something better to do that sodding 006Rs!!!! (sorry u prob have no idea what i'm on about but its just the tyoe of worki've been doing hard to explain! and v boring!!!!)



diet wise was going really well till i got home and had 2 cornbeef butties. i need to get my papa to stop buying it because i can't leave it alone even though its not the nicest thing in the world!!!!



i don't seem to know what to do with myself at the moment. i feel like one big cliche and i feel like giving up, but SW has been so easy so far and i want to wear a pretty dress to my friends weddign and have nice clothes for my holiday.



i what i also think i want is to stop making everything about me, but don't know how to stop it!!!!!!





ok on to more possitive things i want to get my 5% this mondays WI. i only need 1lb!!! i feel so close but so far!!!! someone hide the cornbeef.



my friends are out this weekend and i'm torn about going out. also need to check bank balance as don't gegt paid till a week on tuesday!!! roll on 24th!!! hehe

The List

in this monthe SW magazine Margaret (the founder of SW) has wrote an article now i've only skim read it but basically it asks us to make a list of reasons for and against losing weight. now it says to do it privatly but i think i need to use my blog for this cos when i hide behind i tend to pretend its not real and doesn't matter so

I'm just gonna go and re- read the article then make my list!!!

Pro

Be healthy

gain confidence

find love

Cons

that i will still be un-attactive

that i won't get confident

that i will be still be judged on what i look like in a negative way

That i'll always be sigle

God this is hard i'll have to have a deeper think!!! xxxx